Contentment, with the comfort of right now.
Feminine rage at the injustice of double standards when it comes to dating and sexuality.
Numbness and the urge to isolate.
Annoyance at everyone, and everything.
Stress and worry, with a hint of guilt for not being better at all the things.
Optimistic, confident, and ready to go out into the world and experience new things.
Sad, rejected, and feeling as if no one sees your value enough to want to fight for it.
Disgust – at both yourself for feeling so, and at the others who seem so unappealing; an extreme pickiness that will not be reasoned away.
Wanting – mostly to feel differently than I do.
Pessimism about adult friendships, familial relationships, and the existence of single men in their 30s/40s who have “done the work”, are capable of and want a healthy relationship, have things in common with you, AND are attactive as hell.
Loneliness that is perhaps unwarranted, all things considered.
Pride at how far you’ve come.
Self-concious about the way in which others project narratives onto you.
Fear – that the worst is still waiting to leap out at you.
Hope. But a different sort from what you’re used to feeling.
Woman Asunder 